Psalmist

Recently was reading on the book of Psalm.
I really awe by the relationship that David have with The lord. My Lord.
With such descriptive words that he have penned, he write out the love that he have between himself and his maker.
From Psalm 11 , he talk about how God love the righteous and upright man. he reflects about his consiousness of what God hates and what God delight in .
Then in psalm 18, he talks about how god loves and delighted in Him ( vs 19) .
from what he write, it just make me so " jealous"... I want that also.

During my quiet time, i just ask God this question : "God are you delighted in me ?"
At that split moment, i sense that gush of God's assurance on me. that he loves me for who i am .
he loves no matter how sinful i am, and precisely because of his love, the sinful me decide to live a life that pleases him. not exactly sinless, but i would say blameless.
I know that the depth of my relationship determine my depth of praise and worship unto him.
I know that praise and worship is a end product of my knowing and relationship with christ.
david have inspire me that is possible to have such indecribable closeness with my maker.
I trully desire to go deeper in him that i able to say what david says as well in due time.
" for the lord delighted in me"

I am also reading a book about worship transition ... by tom kraeuter..
This is really a good book that widen my understanding of praise and worship. in the past i always think that worship is for the church and the unchurch to help them to be minister by God. But through this book i realise that praise and worship is first and foremost is TO GOD. We are worshipping the lord.. ushering people to the lord is a by product when first his WL , his levites is worshipping him. Sometimes i realise that i am very much caught up with whether the crowd is minister a not, whether the music suits them or not .. and etc.. that i realise that worshipping God is not the prirorities. My jb here is to get them ( the congregation ) to God.
Love and unity build the worship unt oGod as well.

I think is really important for alll praise and worship band to really under what is worship as much as possible in both knowledge and experience so that we can trully create the kinda of worship experince to the church and usher the lost back to the maker.

I am not a Pastor with the capital "P" but i am a pastor too in leading the flock to love and adore God

been thinking about worship leading recently
I am thinking of myself as a worship leader recently.
How am i as a worship leader??
I find that i am stuck. .. maybe not stuck, but i dont see a BIG breakthrough yet.
How deep am i in God? i wonder...... God.. how deep are you????
i really want to grow in my intimacy with you. I want to write song that really sing that very heart of God .. sing about God.. but i cannot write till i know how he look, "sound", "smell", talk like in a deeper manner..

Recently was thinking about the discipleship in singers ministry, the people that are built in the singers ministry, the kind of worshipper that was built in the ministry who stand on the stage every sat/ sunday inspiring hundreds and hundreds of people loving God through praise and worship.
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Then i look at myself,
lot of work to do.... character and skill. I want and desire both.
I really believe with al my heart about the singers ministry.. that it will grow, prosper and flourish. we can and will be spiritual being that trully usher the very presence of God to the non believers and non believers.
During the wam vision night, ah long talk abt the hillsong kids pnw session, the WL leader actually lead the kids to say sinnners prayer during the praise and worship itself.
It was really a amazing and what i really looking for.
Praise and worship is a evangelism tools. A heartfelt worship from believers that influence the very heart of the non belivers and draw them to CROSS the line of unbelieving to believing. That is the reason of praise and worship. Love should be so fully and exploding through praise and worship because God is love. when God comes and dwell, love reside in the presence.

Been hearing people saying that difference in music, lighting... loudness...
Loves melt all differences, cause we all are melted by the love of christ , in his presence we become ONE in him.
Worship is less of me, but more of God. Its a private life effort that bring out during that 20-30mins praise and worship session to be explosive and dynamic but yet there is a sense of stillness and reverence in his presence.
Character and relationship in God is so so crucial.

Developing myself as a Godly and God honouring PnW leader.

Singers ministry will definitely grow!

Spirituality and style.

I want to be spiritual and but yet stylish at the same time.
The praise and worship night reveal how deep i am in God.
How to be a good praise and worship leader and musicians for God

CHARACTER is the key.
I cannot emphasize this enough. Is not about being perfect , but is about dwelling and emulate the perfect one through our life. Perfect one - Jesus.

How can the praise and worship ministry be God honouring when one doesnt know how to honour the Great and almighty one, honour one and another?When oneself doesnt submit and serve the one and only audience and out of love pastor the flock through the praise and worship session every week.
That 40 minutes we have in God , in authority to serve the people that God died for and love?
Back to how much I love and desire to ?

I am more and more determine about this.
Singers cant , when God don't. because we are not ready .
let's turn the whole worship band around. But it takes alot of our life. Am i ready? are you ready. We will know...... when God come and test our foundation.
Less of us, more of God.
God give the previledge and authority to us in this area, lets use the very best of it. If you are emo, go back to the word and grow yourselves. If you are negative, listen to the word of God not the word of your own.
Noone can help, which is true, cause only God can help.
Are you willing??

"Sacrifice the right offering and trust in the lord. "

Is really time for us to have this wake up call.
When a seed died to itself, it will in turn produces many many seed.

Servanthood

All praise and honour be unto God.
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This sentence though look simple. a sentence that made up of 7 words. But yet these 7 words have such powerful essence to it. I been experiencing what is like to match my heart to this 7 words in all that i am doing and striving for.

In praise and worship leading, in pastoral ministry, my family, relationship with people.
I really like the song from paul baloche, all honour and praise.
One of the sentence goes like this : "lord , when you are glorified, my heart is satisfied, we know, all praise and honour are yours"

I experience this the most not when i am receieving some awards or etc... but when i realise that whatever thing i do , the results sucks.

The praise and worship night for polydi turn out to be something that i never expected it to be. ( but i really thank God for the musicians who played well and work hard for it!)
Alot people comments is not God's centered, not ministering, too music centered.
During the RDMM, all these are so called feedback. I have such difficulties to accept it, cause i really see it as a time that i can be used by God in a way that i have never experience before. I was so so so disppointed ( not dissppointed by the RDMM team comments itself, but much of the outcome)
I really am so crushed .. why God????? i am asking??? WHy again?????? you did it once.. now again.... You know my heart is not self glorifying..............................................................
But God says to me : Search deeper

I really ask God... I really did. Asking God.. is it that i am not meant to lead? or what???? what you trying to teach me.......
Is not abt the style of music... ( which is true that ppl comment that the music choosen is not appropriate that night ) i am actually kinda of defensive when people comment the kind of music is not spiritual..... I was like........ ....... ooooo.. ok........
But God you know........... Just feel so so so so ......... hmmm...

I went back hiome on sunday night.... heavy in heart. was talking to Jon lee and jov on the way back home. Jov say i stress... but i am not stressed.. but more like.... " why?? " who on earth want to serve God in delight in ineffectiveness or cannotmakeit- ness. no one i believe... at least not me.

The more i think.. the more i come before God and reason
I break before God and say... i really sucks lord!! How much i dont like it...
A
t this moment , i remember what i learn frm paul baloche workshop :
Is abt serving. servanthood.


I start to accept all this with humility.
start to recognise that is not what i prefer.. but what is the best in serving people ard me, in the church through God's given roles.
Once i remember Alan tea says that alot of stage minister like musicians and singers have diff to stay long in this ministry and people come and go...
which i do agree that this ministry is not easy.. is really serving... not about preference, what i like.. what music i love, what style i am...
But what the best to serve the congregation.. when we cloth on the humility of christ , the servanthood spirit, we have such joy in serving him with our roles. Criticism, evaluation... all this is for us to grow and improve... we need to learn this big time!! if not we will not grow and serve Him beyond who we are... serving God is not abt who we are... but who he is.. what he think the best.....
If God want me to change.. i will .. though i know it will take time.. but i will..

Make me servant of God.. not servant of music, instrument, style..... what he called us to be.. we will be.

psalm it says " rejoice in trembling" rejoice is more then a feeling.. is a attitude that reflects from our christ like character.


yesterday in DLC, pastor jeff share that he teared when watching city harvest service where taufik and singers went for their emerge conference as guest star. Not that pastor jeff jealous that taufik went to their church.. but is more like.. " God why not me ? why not our church as well that able to be so influence? "
when he say that, i felt the same too.... but then i know why la.. for my case.. i need to change.

musicians and singers: lets really grow in the lord. in heart, in mind and in character. God will mould. and allow him .