Realisation

I am giving you my heart
all that is within
laying all down, for the sake of you my king
giving you my dreams,
laying down my rights
giving you my pride
for the promise of new life

I surrender
all to you (x2)

Singing you this song
waiting at the cross
what the world hold dear
i count it all as lost
for the sake of knowing you
glory of your name
everlasting joy
and the sharing in your pain.

I surrender
all to you ( x2)

What i can be in God, what will i be in christ? Nothing beats then knowing What is God.
Seek the giver and not the gift .. this thing become so real to me. Its just so scary to be stuck and entangle with alot of to dos .. task but yet forgo our basic foundation .. that is our love in christ.
recently i have been thinking alot of our music ministry. singers .. pastoral ministry...what is the key of all these ministry?

Life.. being... US. We.. Me... I....
The key is I .. not in a carnal centered way, but I .. life of " Nel" life of " blah blah blah " . we are called to shine God's name in a very unqiue way. unique in a sense the way that God have crafted just for ME.
I really spend some time thinking and praying for some people in my life. Praying for Xueting that God will show more his passion and his truth to her. She will not just lead her life in this way, but different way... conviction that will blow people mind away.
Praying for Alvin, God will use this man to rise up man that are with character, passion and deep anchor conviction in christ that shake the world. Let the noble seed grow.
Praying for Jolene... God widen her view, open her spiritual eyes to see in your ways. the way you see the world. share your burden with her. Help her to gain insight that change her life. give her a turning point.
Praying for Jen. Give her a heart of compassion that will compel her so deeply in your house. whatever she do and touch with be fruitful . Like a vine to the branches.

Praying for sharon .. Pray that she will grow in her love in you, experience and truth in you. Her motto in life is to know and please you. This life is to be a pleasing and honouring life unto you. a woman that seeks after your heart totally.

Praying for some of the wam people also. praying for the musicians that God will help them to grow into another level. This ministry will flourish and will be a great impact to many.

Love, purity and spirit filled will be the kind of people that we can see rising up in our midst.

Nothing is more important then being the right person then just getting things done.

Jesus. i will to know you more.

All drummers are Homo??? hmm....

hahah... i got 3 friends .. they are our very own the HOMO 3.. heeeh..
presenting.....
.
.
.

Davinna ~ our very own verion of TAITAI drummer.
He like to talk like a tai tai and carry his bag like a tai tai....

Jovinna ~ our very own KUKU head drummer
He have problem with speech and pronunciation problem. eg: Concubine = CUcumber, filet o fish = Yu bao bao ( in chinese) and ... alot more. .... he cant tell joke .. but HE IS THE JOKE.. =)

Zulaina ( think very long wan lo... thinking how to add the "na" into zul) ~ our very own VAIN drummer..
He like Pink............... ( now you know why he is in the homo 3?? )


hahahah.... it all started with davin... so bros... dun kill me... =)

alright.... all jokes aside...
this week is a stress week for me... alot of things just seems to come to me..
1) I lost my $700 necklace.. diamond pendant. Is not the cost of the necklace .. but is really have sentimental value to me. my grandma bought for me, and she left not much years on earth. this will be the thing that she left for me.. i really feel like crying .. my whole sat was kind of affected actually...
2) how to grow TP and RP....... i really no idea liao.. i need wisdom.. grow to 100.. i really need it.. God is my strength .. programming and pastoral ministry .. to strive in both.. i really need wisdom. I am weak too.. though i do look strong outside.. but i am still human... Lord i need you!!
3) SICK... i am sick... haiz... i hate it when i sick.............

Anyway... God is here with me.. i know... thats why i love the song.. i more i seek you.. it just sang out all that i have in me...

God... I need you.. i hate the life that i am leading now.. i want more then this...
i do not know how will i be able to go thru it.. but i know somehow.. i will .. with you.

You guys rock my socks off!!

Finally .. evo retreat is over!! really want to thank God for those who work hard. Like the Musicians - richard, jovin, jiasheng, sharon, ben, joyclyn and not forgetting the singers like Alvin, jen and steward. Programmer like elaine and the deco team !! really appreciate your hardwork. The team who work very hard as well like the xueting, jolene, sharon , jen and alvin who work hard in inviting and geling the ppl together. Really appreciate. =)

The evo retreat night didnt really turn out to be the way it shd be, we really put in so so so much effort, but it just didnt turn out to as big hit as what i want it to be. Honestly speaking i am very very disapointed then when the turn out is not what i think it shd be. =(
I am so so so so so affected actually.


But just at the point of disapointment, God speak to me what to be grateful and thankful of. I love my group!!! i really appreciate and treasure the people that are with me ... I really treasure all my friends , sister and bro... at that moment .. i was thinking if i am not in church, where i shd be then?
.
.
.
I cant think of........

cause i am so stuck here in this church, in this family. where i spend me years with. thru thick and thin. I am so grateful that i have wonderful team that is with me. My group people. RP and TP you guys rock!!! I really am so so so so so so so thankful for that God place you all in my life. You all are not my sheeps , members only.. you all are my friends.. my spiritual bro and sister that i will continue to see till eternity. .. can you imagine that

not only abt my grp,... i really appreciate jiasheng and richard who help out, donald who also came in and help... really love ya guys!~
Really appreciate you all who are now alreadt in wam.. though you all are no longer in TP, but you all are always my dear dear sis!! wanqi + Jon lee+ Joel !!! appreciate you all! you all are people who are very close to my heart!


wow... imagine .. we all are going to end the race together when we see God together.. such a beautiful sight.. i think i will teared in joy.... * i am tearing now liao*

Really thank God for the serangoon gang too!! you all are my supper mate wor!! hahah.. but i really think is more then supper mate.. you all impacted my life and bring so much joy and laughter into my life too .. they are none other then : zul, jiasheng, jovin, cedric , alvin patrick. Thank god for you all.

Last but not least YY!!!! i love you!! you never fail to take care of me.. like my mum like that.. you really am someone that i know i can always trust in! * muackz*
Pearline!! my another buddy... who i know we will end this race together. =)
Jasmine.. my dear shepherd+ friend... Thank you for believing in me.. i will always rememebr this. =)

there are so so so much to thank God for. I took 20 mins appreciating and telling how much i appreciate the community during the evo night, and most mushy thing i have ever say in my life. haa... * blush*

thank God for all of you!! you all have impacted my life so so so much. I really do appreciate.. Thank GOD FOR GOD.. hahah... for he place alllll this wonderful thing in my life. HE taught me what is love and to love. Thank you BIG ONE!!

Church is where i will be and want to be forever.